|Posted by ryanbracha on May 31, 2014 at 7:35 AM|
You know those times where you suddenly stop what you're doing and you think to yourself, Who does Leonardo DiCaprio think would win a fight between a Swan with a knife or a Rabbit with a gun? or What's the best thing Jack Nicholson could build with Lego? Well, Bracsman has those same thoughts, and now he's here to find the answers to those questions. He goes head to head with some of the finest indie authors the world has to offer, asking the questions that matter. Are you going to be a wanker when you get famous? Can you do magic? That kind of thing. Today, it's the turn of prolific noir writer Paul D. Brazill. He has written some great books and I'm a big fan. All the links and stuff in the usual places, now, let's ask some fucking questions...
Bracsman Vs... Paul D. Brazill
Paul D. Brazill. What do you know? How’ve you been?
I know a thing or two about a thing or three. I know who shot liberty valence and where the time goes. I’ve been to paradise but I’ve never been to ME.
Yeah yeah, keep it brief, okay? I don’t have all day. Look, I heard a rumour you don’t even come from the present. I heard you came by time machine from the past to conquer literature. What the fuck? How comes you’re so damned vintage with your noir? Did you rip off my pal Steve from the 50s?
My brain was frozen around the same time as Walt Disney’s and has recently thawed. What’s the difference between Tom Wait’s and Walt Disney?
Okay. Why the fuck should I read your new book and not Misty Sackencrack’s Tales of Barry the pissed up detective?
Cos A Case Of Noir has got the lot-blood, bodies, bullets, booze, birds and bingo. Okay, I lied about the bingo but in snow smothered Warsaw, Luke Case, a boozy English hack with a dark secret, starts a dangerous affair with a gangster’s wife. Case thenescapes to the sweltering Spanish heat where he meets a colourful cast of characters, including a mysterious torch singer and a former East End villain with a criminal business proposition. In stormy Toulouse, he encounters a blast from the past that is positively seismic which forces him to return to England and confront his past
Good answer. I like your style. There’s a bubble in your new wallpaper, what do you do? Rip that shit off and start again or you think you can smooth it before it dries?
Cover it over with random newspaper clipping. Draw red circles around a few of the faces in the photos and link them with wobbly lines. And –ta da!- now you’re an FBI profiler.
Who’d win in a fight between you and Stephen Hawking, taking into account that Hawking’s a faking cunt and knows two types of fighting?
Stephen J Hawking the blues playing scientist would clearly win. He’d hit me with his guitar.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, are you more likely to sing that’s amore or turn into a werewolf detective?
An Italian werewolf. Like James Caan. Have you seen him in that vest in The Godfather? Knit one, pearl one, knit one ...
If you did turn into that detective, do you think you could solve the mystery about who the fuck pinched my next door neighbour’s washing off her line?
It was Shaggy, though he denies it.
Yeah, I heard he was a thieving cunt. Good work, Brazill. You’ve got a massive and quite good taste in the old music, this might be tough, but what’s the one record you own that you could happily never listen to again?
The Broadway musical of Kafka’s The Trail starring Jimmy Cricket as Josef K.
Can you do any magic tricks?
Wait till it’s my round, you’ll see me disappear.
What genre do you think you would totally struggle with writing? Why?
Thriller writing. I’m not much good at plots and also thriller writers need to know the names of ‘technical stuff’ like camera, cars, guns. I haven’t a clue about technical stuff.
Do you think my arse looks big in this?
Like a moon hitting your eye like a big pizza pie.
Nice call back. You’re pretty much the author that all other authors love, don’t try to deny it, it’s a fact. What do you think that you’ve got that other might lack? Don’t say that beautiful smile, because we’ll take that as a given.
I write stuff that entertains me and by the law of averages, some people like the same things as me. Anyone else is a bonus.
When am I going to see a full length novel from you? Will you do me one for my birthday?
I’ve a few more novellas to come out yet. Maybe never. I always preferred singles to LPs, with all those fillers.
You emigrants sicken me. Polish jobs for Polish people! I jest of course, I’m of Polish stock myself, I can say shit like that. Would you ever consider coming back or is that you now?
Nigdy nie mów nigdy! Will have to wait for the ASBO to expire first.
Indeed. Well, I'll be waiting with a hammer and a bottle of whiskey to get revenge for that thing you did. What’s next for Paul D. Brazill?
Pimping A Case Of Noir and Exiles: An Outsider Anthology. Stories in a couple of anthologies and online. Finishing Holidays In The Sun, the follow up to Guns Of Brixton which should be out at the end of the year from Caffeine Nights Publishing.
Paul D.Brazill: Bio
I was born in England and am now on the lam in Poland. I left school at sixteen and my first job was on a government scheme updating Ordinance Survey Maps. It wasn't as glamorous as it sounds. I've worked in a second-hand record shop and played bass in a couple of post-punk bands. I've been EFL teaching for over ten years and still seem to be getting away with it.
I'm the author of A Case Of Noir, Guns Of Brixton, Roman Dalton- Werewolf PI and a few other tasty snacks that you can find here.
My writing has quite shockingly been translated into Italian, Polish and Slovene. I know! I've had stories published in various magazines and anthologies, including The Mammoth Book Of Best British Crime 8, 10 and 11 - alongside the likes of Lee Child, Ian Rankin and Neil Gaiman. Which is nice.
I also edited the charity anthology True Brit Grit, along with Luca Veste, and a couple of other things, too.
Oh, and I regularly contribute to Pulp Metal Magazine and have a regular column - Brit Grit Alley - at Out Of The Gutter Online. I'm a member of International Thriller Writers Inc.
A Case of Noir:
In snow smothered Warsaw, Luke Case, a boozy English hack with a dark secret, starts a dangerous affair with a gangster’s wife. Case escapes to the sweltering Spanish heat where he meets a colourful cast of characters, including a mysterious torch singer and a former East End villain with a criminal business proposition. In stormy Toulouse, he encounters a blast from the past that is positively seismic which forces him to return to England and confront his past. A Case Of Noir is a strong shot of international noir from Paul D. Brazill.