Ryan Bracha

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Hello. Have a little look at what I done.

I live to tell stories. Naughty ones, nice ones, funny ones and sad ones. Preferably funny ones though. If something bad happens, my general feeling is 'Ah well, at least it's a story to tell the grandkids one day'. If something good happens, I'll tell everybody I know that story. Everything that will ever happen to you at any point in your life, is always going to be a story to tell at another point in your life. If you view it like that then the chances are you'll enjoy your life a little bit more. Like the time I went to a stag party in Bruges, Belgium. I got too drunk and missed the boat home, spent the night being dragged from pillar to post by the Belgian police, spent so much more money than I ever should have, and got lost in a foreign country for about four hours. Twice. Yeah, at the time it was awful, but the second I landed back on home soil, it was the best story I could have ever lived. Stories make the world go round, they keep us entertained and they make good use of our imagination.


I am 37 years worth of ideas just screaming to be unleashed on an unsuspecting public. By 24 I had written and directed my first and only feature film, Tales From Nowhere which was well received and enjoyed a limited release around my native Yorkshire. My second screenplay Dirt Merchants never made it to screen but was an outlet for my desire to tell stories. 


Almost 4 years in the making, my debut novel, Strangers Are Just Friends You Haven't Killed Yet is a darkly comic satire based on the state of the media in the face of what appears to be a serial killer stalking the streets of Sheffield. It took me four years because I didn't know what I was doing. I picked it up, put it down, picked it up and put it down again. It was only when I showed it to a work colleague who really enjoyed it that I got focused on finishing it. I sent it to a handful of agents, got one rejection that said it was a great concept and great title, but it didn't show the commercial potential they needed. Apparently that's the lie of the land in publishing now. No risks taken. So it sat in a drawer for a few months before my wife heard a radio interview with a successful self-published author. I didn't know that self-publishing was a thing back then. I'd heard of vanity presses etc, but not the self-publishing platform that I know and love today. I slapped the thing up for sale and hoped for the best. Beyond the initial clamour that comes with somebody you know doing something of note, it faded to nothing. Six months later I offered it for free on Amazon in conjunction with World Book Day, and the after effects of a very successful giveaway pushed my book into the Top 200 of all available e-books at the time. The top 0.1%. That's a good place to be. 


Anyway, in that six months of unknowing despair, I wrote my second novel, and the sequel to Strangers, Tomorrow's Chip Paper, which is a vast, cross-Europe look at the way Britain deals with a national treasure celebrity held hostage by a woman who holds proof that he is a murder, paedophile and rapist. I'd got the writing bug by then. I'd found my calling. 


Every few weeks for about 7 months, I wrote and published a series of shorts and novellas, all of which were to be collected and published with exclusive stories in Bogies, and other equally messed up tales of love, lust, drugs and grandad porn. It was released to a great response in November 2013 and enabled me to show that I had more in me than just the characters from my first two novels. 


In 2013, I had met what I now call my best pal in writing, Mark Wilson. At that point he had just released his third book, Head Boy. We bonded over a few jokes about pseudonyms, and I sent him a copy of my half-finished third novel. It was a cautionary tale about the way the UK was going with social media trends and our obsession with immigration. Wilson said at that time that it was the book he'd been waiting for from me. It lost 30,000 words on its predecessor, which allowed me the room to stretch smaller ideas into a bigger pot, instead of a hundred different ideas into one small pot. 


In January 2014, Paul Carter is a Dead Man to great acclaim upon its release, and has since become easily my most popular book. Taking advantage of my increased exposure and reputation in the indie publishing world, I invited eleven other writers to contribute to a project I had in mind. I wanted to tell a full novel, but with the plot taking twelve bizarre detours, told by the writers I had invited. I wanted the stories they told to shape how I wrote the rest of the book. It was a fantastic exercise in improvisational writing, and in July 2014, Twelve Mad Men was released. All proceeds went to a handful of charities, including Multiple Myeloma Research and Teenage Cancer Trust. It remains a project that I am immensely proud of.


Exactly one year after the release of Paul Carter, the second book of the Dead Man Trilogy was published. Surprising everybody with a new set of characters, mixed in with a blend of the old, Ben Turner is a Dead Man was lauded as my best yet. I couldn't have that. I wanted to release best yets every time I released something. That's the beauty of self-publishing. My back catalogue is a perfectly executed illustration of what my development looks like. I don't write and re-write and edit and edit. I write. Sweep it for errors. Publish. Move on. You can't learn by writing something and then passing it to a bunch of people to re-write and edit it. You don't get better. You stay the same. 


I am always writing, always thinking, and always trying to entertain you in new ways. In June 2015 came my most speculative and ambitious novel yet, released to universal acclaim, the obscenely filthy The Switched, which asks the question, what would you do if you were no longer you? What if a horrific narcissist with an intense drug addiction took over your body? What if you were given the opportunity of receiving oral pleasures, by yourself? What if you were a man who experienced menstruation for the first time? Yep. It's that grim.


 Davie Craig is a Dead Man, the final book of The Dead Man Trilogy was released in February 2016, and gave me by far my best opening day performance. 


Not one to rest easy, my next (and eighth) novel, After Call Work: Verbal Warning, which is the first of a four book series, was released in May 2016. It was a direct result of a torrid time working within a call centre, and the relationships that were made and broken by back-stabbing, lying, elusive promotions and somebody telling you for months that band T-shirts were not suitable attire for dress-down Friday, then demoting you whilst wearing a Florence and The Machine T-shirt. If you ever worked with me, you know which massive cunt I'm referring to.


I have pretty much written the second book in the series, but the seed of an idea grew in my fat skull for a brand new book, so Phoebe Jeebies and The Man Who Annoyed Everybody was released in December 2016, taking my novel count to nine, and it will be closely followed by After Call Work: Gross Misconduct, which will keep me on course for the target of fifteen novels by the age of 40 that I have set myself, and what I told Sandi Toksvig I would achieve when I won Series 4, Show 23 of the popular teatime quiz show, Fifteen to One. I'm not just a good writer, I know stuff too!


I live in Barnsley with my beautiful wife, beautiful daughter, and two stupid cats.